ktclain

ktclain@gmail.com — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 04:23:24 GMT

Hi everybody!

Life's pretty uneventful lately. I've been working crazy hours this month because of the number of events and also I'm trying to save some money. I'm still figuring when I can go back to school but I've kind of accepted that as things are now, I'll be in Sarasota for the next year. I'm not really happy about this but I have a job/apartment here

I'm also looking into going to Dragoncon this year. Okay, it's really irresponsible saving money for a convention instead of school but honestly, school's not going to happen til 2010/2011. The biggest hurdle at the moment's securing a hotel room. The host hotels are full, so I'll have to try and get a room in one of the overflow hotels. But once I get the details ironed out, it should be pretty exciting.

ktclain@gmail.com — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 22:32:32 GMT

I have plans brewing. They are scary but exciting plans. On one hand, I think I'm heading in a very stupid direction. On the other, I feel more enthusiastic and motivated then I have in months. So we'll see.

In other news, work is work. I may have to find a better job, which is depressing in the sense I'll have to leave my lovable if sometimes bat shit crazy co-workers. But I need money for...the plans...There's always the possibility that I can work more hours but with season coming, the job gets more stressful so I don't know if I really want to do that.

Also, anybody that has lived/lives in Tampa, what's it like? Since there's a chance I'm moving there come next summer and frankly, I don't know the city that well. Orlando's also an option but frankly I'm leaning towards Tampa at this point.

ktclain@gmail.com — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 22:07:40 GMT

Somebody please do an intervention and stop me from watching the Watchmen trailer, yet again. Seriously, I know I'm obsessed. Rottentomatoes.com isn't helping since they have article on it which is a frame by frame analysis.

ktclain@gmail.com — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 20:00:57 GMT

Good news. I have two (possibly three) impacted wisdom teeth that need to be removed. Why is this good news? I've had a toothache for more than two weeks and have been stressing over it. I can barely afford a filling, let alone a root canal or other extensive dental work. But a tooth extraction may be covered by my insurance. If not, its still less expensive then a filling usually. Worse case scenario (and I'm very reluctant to do this), I ask my parents for a loan. They'll be more willing since I can't help that my damn wisdom teeth are deciding to be evil. Anyway the dentist my co-worker referred me to was very nice. I have a consultation with the oral surgeon on the 29th and we'll go from there.
I probably had the worst week at my job last week since I've started. The fact that we're officially in high season AND trying out a new system that's horrible hasn't help. Not to mention bitchy docents and customers screaming in my face. If only irate people were a turn-on for me. I'd be skipping all day long.
What else...Oh, I've been reading "A Clash of Kings" and remembering why I love the series and why it is so distressing to read at times. I've also been reading some of Haruki Murakami's books. Ironically, his most famous book "Norwegian Wood" is my least favorite so far. But I really loved "Hard-boiled Wonderland and the End of the World." Although I have to admit I only started reading it because of the title. I also read "The Kite Runner" which was good but not as good as I'd been expecting. Granted some people I talked to think its the best book ever written in the English language.
Pop came to visit me today and we had lunch. It was really nice to have a "just us" day because my mom and sister share similar personalities while me and Pop are more similar. We joked about how they're both competitive over everything. Including growing cabbages. He's turning forty in March, which will definitely cause some teasing and heckling back home.
Other then that, not much.

ktclain@gmail.com — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 03:33:31 GMT

My Nanowrimo currently includes zombies, a bo-ho mom, bad Robin Williams impressions, and a not quite romantic triangle. I am so amused with myself.

This brought to you by the helpful assistance of a friend on my shoulder

ktclain@gmail.com — Sat, 03 Nov 2007 00:48:46 GMT

NaNoWriMo is going okay. My word count isn't that behind so far, I'm just not really feeling the story. I like the characters, but I'm not sure where to go with them and its frustrating. But as tempting as it is to ditch this story idea and try something else, I wonder if I'll just run into the same problem there. The real problem may very well be that I haven't written anything creative in a while and am very rusty. Or maybe I just can't write. Shush! Let my insecurities have some breathing room!
Regardless, I got an e-mail "from" Tom Robbins because of this NaNo thing. I guess they had him write a blurb about writing and the NaNo people sent it to all of us signed up participants. I was pretty cool.
It was nice having a break from work and all the co-worker drama. I need to just keep out of it as much as possible and not let it upset me. But really, co-worker drama is ten times worse then the customers because even the worse customers leave and its over.
Also, I've been in the mood to make lists lately...maybe I'll be evil and post some of them here!

ktclain@gmail.com — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 00:27:50 GMT

To help me write this post, I have a very special friend. Heh Heh Heh
Okay, first to sum up Necronomicon.

Good things about Necronomicon:

1. Hanging out with Story and Brad
2. Discovering the joy of Irish cream with coffee (mmmhmmm)
3. Seeing the live-action Death Note movie. (I thought it might be really stupid or silly but I ended up really enjoying it.) I really need to see more of the anime. Its been a while since I've been this excited about an anime series.
4. The Avatar panel (The panel itself was awesome and the show is getting better and better this season.)
5. The workshop on medieval German longsword techniques. Anything involving wacking people with aluminum swords has my stamp of approval.

Not So Great:
1. I really need to work on my meeting new people skills
2. I really need to get a room in the hotel if I go again, just so I can have some privacy.
I don't do well.
3. The art show room was pretty crappy. There were a few artists who were really good though. But maybe working at a museum has turned me into a snob.
4. The dealers room could have been better. I was willing to spend money. I really was. Only, there wasn't a whole lot that impressed me.

Overall, things were pretty well. In other news: work is going alright and the grad school process has stagnated for the moment but I should be getting some stuff done this week.
Other then that, not much. Maybe I'll post later if something comes up.

ktclain@gmail.com — Sat, 15 Sep 2007 22:45:27 GMT

Guess who has full time? Guess. If you guessed me, you are correct! If you guessed Whitney Huston, you fail. I'm going to go do a happy dance because you know I have a full time job now

ktclain@gmail.com — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 00:41:14 GMT

Things have been going pretty good recently. I still like working at Ringling, although
we're so slow this month. But I've still been getting overtime, so I'm not complaining.

This morning the apartment was testing the fire alarm, which annoyed me and probably scared the stuffings out of poor Zoot. Later Zoot recovered enough to talk to my sister on the phone, which seemed to amuse and or puzzle him but delighted her.

I got my hair cut. If I can ever figure out how to take a picture of myself with my digital camera, I may post pictures. I like it, even if the cut emphasizes that I have the exact same type of hair as my father. I'd rather not be reminded I share any genetic material with the man but oh well.

I started researching grad schools but am running into the problem that I can't visit any out of state. Since my actual visit to New College was what made me choose the school, not having that same option this time around makes me apprehensive. I also need to start studying for the GRE. I just...don't...want...too. It doesn't help that at least half of the programs I'm looking at seem incredibly apathetic towards the GRE. But I still feel I need to take it.

Kai's b-day is on Friday. Yeah for birthday fun!

Since when have chinchillas been so cute? Why have I just recently realized this? Also, they have the best name to say.

I think that's about it. I'll try to be interesting later.

ktclain@gmail.com — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 04:51:49 GMT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY yesterday Sarah!!!! I was going to call you but I fell asleep. (looks guilty)
Bleh. Work today was okay. It was a rather slow busy day so it wasn't too stressful. That or Regal made me immune to large crowds of people. Everyone I worked with was nice even when I couldn't figure out how to lock the damnforsakenid door. About half and hour before I left it was raining and lightning but it had stopped, thankfully, right before I left. I don't work until Thursday which is making me anxious. I don't like part time. The worse parts were the kids (children!) and the random ass questions people asked me. I really want a name badge that says "Hi, I'm new so if you ask me any question there's a very good chance that I'm going to make up an answer." Then there was the lady who though that the guards should give tours or share their secret painting/museum information with the public. Granted, giving tours would be fun but we have docents who come in to do that and if we're busy giving tours whose going to make sure little junior doesn't bang the keys on the freaking piano!?? I hate children some days. Overall, the day wasn't bad, I'm just bitching.

ktclain@gmail.com — Sun, 15 Jul 2007 01:55:02 GMT

Hey! Nothing much going on. I got the Ringling job which makes me happy. My first day was Friday, but it was more orientation and meeting people then work. I saw Charissa and Jessica Anne W. which was very cool! Actually, I heard them yelling my name before I saw them. My parents are coming to visit Friday for the b-day. Today I had to get dressier shoes for work since my black sneakers are too casual. I hate show shopping. I really do. I also got groceries and an Ethernet cable so I have internet! Yeahs me! ....um, oh! Exciting news. Lowry Park Zoo has BABY white tiger cubs. (go see http://www.lowryparkzoo.com/tiger_cubs/) They are very cute. Probably more of an update on Monday after work. Mondays are free days so it should be...fun...

ktclain@gmail.com — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 22:39:03 GMT

Cruise in two days! A million things to do beforehand though. I finished "A Game of Thrones" and I have to admit I liked it. However, I'm worried about some characters' futures and the ending suprised and worried me. It has the potential for taking the series in a completely different direction, which may or may not be a good thing. My new phone (which I didn't want but that's another story) has a camera and I've been having fun tormenting my family with it. Oh, and for all you lovely people.

Comment and I shall:
1. Tell you why I friended you.
2. Associate you with something - fandom, a song, a colour, a photo, etc.
3. Tell you something I like about you.
4. Tell you a memory I have of you.
5. Associate you with a character/pairing.
6. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
7. Tell you my favorite user pic of yours.
8. In return, you must post this in your LJ. (or don't. I really don't care)

ktclain@gmail.com — Sat, 23 Jun 2007 17:28:38 GMT

I got a new phone and a brand spanking new cell phone bill to go with it....yeah, I think. Now I need to find some ringtones for this bad boy. Anyhow, things here are a bit hectic. I'm going to start packing and organizing so I'm at least near to being done before the cruise.
I watched one of AFI's lists of movies with my mom, which was fun because we both love old movies. But I almost got disowned when I said I was glad "Gone with the Wind" wasn't as high ranked as it was previously. I can't stand that movie but my mom loves it. Part of the reason the movie annoys me is because of the race issues and the glamourazation of upper white elite Southern culture. However, the real reason I can't get through watching it is Scarlett's annoying. But my mom loves the movie.
My stepdad rented "The Good Shepherd", which I'd said I'd watch with him. Oh, and my sister's been cute recently but I can't remember anything in paticular.
If anyone knows where I can get ringtones either free or cheap let me know. I'm still looking but so far most of the sites look sketchy.

ktclain@gmail.com — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 15:51:29 GMT

I have been reading like a mad woman. I finished Hogfather by Terry Pratchett which has so many funny moments I won't burden you with retelling them. I'm also rereading Thud!, which is better this time around because I feel like I know the watch characters better.

I'm just over a hundred pages into "A Game of Thrones" by George R. R. Martin. So far it is disturbingly addictive. Although the entire book is written in third person, each chapter has a "point of view" character, whose thoughts and experiences are the focus of that chapter. I like this technique but I also wish the "point of view" characters were spread out better amongst the different families. As is, the Starks (including the illegitimate one) have six characters with point of view chapters, the Lannisters have one, and the Targaryens have one. The royal family Baratheon has no characters (although due to incest, technically several Baratheons are actually Lannisters) with point of view chapters. This creates the effect of the Stark family being depicted as far more noble and sympathetic than the other characters. So far, the villains, if there are any, would be the Lannisters and the Targaryens prince.(his sister is the point of view character) However, even these characters are given understandable motivations most of the time.
So far, I really like the character of Jon Snow, the Snark "bastard." I like calling him that because he's actually a really nice guy, so far anyway. As of now, his story is interesting because although he was illegitimate, he was raised in his father's house, with his father's "trueborn" (the novel's wording) children. Out of his five half-siblings, he has good relationships with three. He doesn't get along with his older sister and the baby doesn't count. His relationship with his stepmother, Caetlyn, is strained for understandable reasons. Caetlyn, another point of view character, hostility towards Jon is understandable but at the same time I have a harder time being sympathetic since Jon is so far a really nice guy and loyal to his siblings. Another cool part of his family is that each child has a direwolf that mirrors his or her owner's personality. Jon's is an albino.
Other then reading, I haven't done much. I need to start organizing and packing this week. The cruise is coming up, which I am looking forward to. My sister is an amusing brat and my family isn't driving me too crazy so things are pretty good. Oh, and funny story. At my parent's church, the slide show projection thing that the church does to post announcements and song lyrics had an amazing amount of typos, one of which was a "bad word." It made me giggle.

News from the Homestead

ktclain@gmail.com — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 04:23:42 GMT

Okay, stuff that's been going on recently include

1. My sister got two teeth pulled today. I think it was more traumatic for mom and me than her.
2. My sister saw Howl's Moving Castle with me. We quote the "beautiful" line. Life is good.
3. My family's planning a vacation for the end of June for my graduation present/birthday/parents' tenth wedding anniversary. It looks like it'll be a cruise. I'm excited.
4. Hopefully I'll be getting medical insurance this week.
5. I finished reading "Going Postal" by Terry Pratchett (Sarah, you have to read this...its Discworld and good and funny and the Lord guy is insane!) and "The Birthday of the World and Other Stories" by Ursula K. LeGuin (the first story takes place on the same planet as "The Left Hand of Darkness"....and caused me to have a very happy moment) I'm reading "Red Mars" right now. It is so nice to just read.
6. I am writing too! Not much. But I have an idea and characters that are determined to come out and so I'm letting them do their thing.
7. My dad got a new job, doing the same thing he's doing now but close to home. Yea!
8. My aunt is teaching four year olds this week. This is making her miserable but it amuses me greatly.
This is rather non-poetic but oh well. I'm in my parents' house being a lazy bum. Post graduation has been mostly depressing and stressful when I think of the future since I tend to focus on the difficult and boring things ahead. But so it goes.

ktclain@gmail.com — Sat, 31 Mar 2007 01:53:35 GMT

So I didn't find my edited third chapter, but no worries, I just edited the chapter over again and this time the edits are better! At least I'm telling myself that. But in my searching, I found all my old stories sketches and plays from high school/first year. One thing I found that was particularly interesting was the beginnings of a novel. Its sort of a surreal semi-autobiographical look at a senior's last year of high school. There's an invisible significant others, porn, heavily medicated bosses, and a boy named Jesus so he can get into heaven and still be an atheist. So I'm reading this, wincing at the bad writing and wondering how a wrote something that reminds me of Tom Robbins YEARS before I touched one of his novels. Really, its kind of unnerving. Now if it was written as well as Tom Robbins, then I'd have something to be pleased with.
I REALLY want to write. Not to write my thesis but to write creatively. I want to take some of the ideas I re-discovered and play with them...But unfortunately, the thesis fairies do not exist and I have to write my thesis. Granted, my thesis is FULL of fairies but of a different kind.*

*Yes, it is a politically incorrect term but in the context of my thesis, fairy was an identity category used by some men during the time period, not just used about them by outsiders or in a strictly pejorative sense......Did I mention I want this thesis done and...OVER WITH!!!!!!!!!

**I got a free energy drink earlier...I win!!!

ktclain@gmail.com — Fri, 30 Mar 2007 06:15:02 GMT

This is not Katie typing. This is the embodiment of Katie's thesis, who decided to EAT HER and then take over the world...through live journal. Fear the thesis! FEAR its mighty claws of doom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, this thing looks like it'll be about 80 pages. Maybe 75 if I go easy on the intro and conclusion. What the hell? I just want this done. I want it done and over with. I want to know or be fairly confident I am graduating. Also, I can't find my revised third chapter, which is pissing me off. Where did it go? Did I really do NO revisions last week. I remember doing revisions. Maybe I need sleep. "cough" (and a done thesis) "cough" That third chapter is driving me nuts.

ktclain@gmail.com — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 22:11:08 GMT

Sometimes I hate my subconscious. Over the past three nights, I've had three dreams concerning a real-life conversation I need to have with someone. In my dreams, due to some bizarre dream logic each time, the conversation goes disastrously. In real life, before said dreams started occurring, I was a tad nervous about having this conversation. Now I am more so. Its not that I think the dreams MEAN anything, other than my anxiety about having this conversation. But it is getting annoying. Of course, since it is spring break, no one's around. "sigh"
In other news, my room is on its way to being sparkly clean. This pleases me. My thesis is being a problem child. I have no idea what to write for my introduction or my conclusion. I know in my intro I have to establish the thesis of my thesis. Then I could take the boring but logical route and summarize each chapter. The problem is I do not know what my thesis is. As for my conclusion, still have no idea where to go with that. It would be REALLY redundant to summarize my point yet again. Usually conclusions somehow extend the argument to present day concerns or explore how the next ten or so years changed whatever I am arguing. In my case I could go into how WWI changed gay male relations and society. I could also go into how gay male autobiography developed, who comes next and how the process changed. I don't know.
Enough talking about my thesis, and onto actually doing it!

ktclain@gmail.com — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 01:25:53 GMT

This was the best weekend of my life. Not really, but I can exaggerate if I want to. Visiting my family was REALLY nice. It was good talking to my mom and step-dad and just being goofy with my sister. I got her into They Might Be Giants, hence why today is the best day ever. We also went to see "The Last Mimzy", which wasn't half-bad as kid movies go. I like going to movies with my sister. She behaves and I get to steal her popcorn. Granted I could, I don't know, buy my own but that's no fun. I was supposed to take the bus today to Sarasota, but something happened and the bus was delayed in Tallahassee. So to make a long story short, my step-dad and Abby ended up driving me down. She got to meet out common room bear, which pleased me.
The one damper was the constant talk about graduation. I hope to graduate, I plan on graduating but until I pass my Bacc, do all the paperwork, and the faculty votes, my graduation status is up in the air. I think my parents get it but they remain convinced I will graduate. My grandmother and other relatives do not get it. Hopefully, I will graduation and will receive the honor of attending an event where family, friends, and other sub-groups that should never intermingle, congregate in the same place. And I do not care what my grandmother thinks, I am NOT wearing a dress. (Sorry, I'm currently being possessed by a sixteen year old rebel. Next I'll be piercing my nose and getting a tattoo of a butterfly.) I guess since I couldn't wear what I wanted to my high school graduation, I feel the extra need to wear what I want this time. But, if the worse conflict I can see with my family is over how I dress (and by conflict I mean a slightly distressed grandmother and an eye-rolling but dealing with it mother) I'm good.

ktclain@gmail.com — Sat, 17 Mar 2007 23:10:03 GMT

So Ren-Faire today was fun. There was your average bad/bawdy comedy shows, arts and crafts, and people dressed up in corsets and kilts. Oh, and there were bagpipes. However, I also thought it was pretty ironic that they had Scottish bagpipes on St. Patrick's day. But it is Ren-Faire, so.
Oh, and they had a pretty good music group playing E, something. Anyway, their violinist/guitarist
was very pretty. I was not staring at her when they preformed, no not me. I also got yummy food and timed it so I didn't have to wait in line. This pleased me.
I got a necklace for my sister, spoiled brat that she is. (Also, her birthday's coming up.) I also got a box with pretty art on it. I will use it to store souls! Or not. I was worried that Kali would drive me nuts in the van, but she didn't. Beforehand, was a different story. But I won't get into that.
Now I am really tired and somewhat hungry. I think I will go get food.

ktclain@gmail.com — Tue, 13 Mar 2007 17:19:15 GMT

Every time I work on my thesis, god sacrifices a little kitten. A cute, cuddly, fluffy kitten. Seriously, this chapter is going well overall, although it is short! I may be under 20 pages, which is unusual for me. Normally it is usually me begging the thesis gods to keep my paper barely over 20 pages. Oh, and I had a dream about going to a puppy room. There were cute puppies, some of which were mutant, and they all wanted to snuggle! I love my subconscious.

ktclain@gmail.com — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 05:34:46 GMT

I actually have a tentative agenda for what I'm doing after I graduate. This pleases me. What it looks like is I'll be staying in Sarasota for the next year, not something
I'm looking forward to but oh well. During this time I will work and (hopefully) get a
part-time internship at Ringling. If I go crazy, I'll be living in Tampa and getting
a part time internship at one of the museums there. I'll also be studying for and taking my GREs this summer. Why? Because, hopefully, Fall of 2008 I'll be heading off to grad school. I talked to Sarah about the museum studies program at UF which sounds promising. But I have also been told to talk to Kerrick about his not so positive experience with museum studies. I'd like an internship because it will hopefully mollify those crazy graduate schools who will want to know why the HELL I took time off. But yeah, I have long term plans. This both pleases and terrifies me. However, there's still so much I need to do in the next few months to make these plans happen, beside you know, graduating. I need to talk to Ringling. If there's nothing there consider the possibility of living in Tampa. (which doesn't frighten me at all, not in the least...) I also need to figure out living arrangements and get a job. Although I can guarantee I'd be re-hired at Regal, I think logistically, it would be difficult to manage working there, especially if I end up living away from downtown.
But I know they'd give me a good recommendation, so that works. I also need to learn to drive...or not.
Ah, real life sucks on occasion.
In other news, ....I really need to do laundry.

Horror movies stories

ktclain@gmail.com — Fri, 02 Mar 2007 23:08:07 GMT

Last night, Story, Alex, Laura, and I all watched Ju-on: The Grudge. Reviews were mixed, which wasn't surprising. I liked it, so I am happy. But last night, I was reflecting on my relationship to horror movies.

As a kid, I could read nearly any book I wanted. Movies and tv were horribly censored however. The first PG-13 movie I saw was The Mask, at age 9 and the first R was Dragonheart at 11. Other than those, I did not see a lot of PG-13 or R movies before I turned 13. Especially horror/scary movies.
As a kid, I LOVED scary stories, I had collections of scary stories with grotesque drawings in them, I forget what they were called. If I had been introduced to Lovecraft before high school, I bet I would have gravitated towards him as well. I read goosebumps and fear street, until they stopped being scary and became bored and predictable. Actually, they were always predictable, I just needed to get older to realize it.
But this love of horror never transfered to movies. Even though I had never seen a horror movie, I assumed they were all the same. Probably from what I had picked up from advertisements and the consensus of those around me, all horror movies were cheesy but taking themselves seriously, lots of blood and gore, and stupid people making stupid decisions. Which actually described quite a few horror movies, now that I think about it. This paradigm however, shifted after I was introduced to Hitchcock.
Technically, Hitchcock is suspense, but the first time I saw Psycho, I identified it as a horror movie. I saw the film behind my mother's back, at my dad's house. Divorced parents are great for that. My dad would not do anything to "openly" defy my mom but if I happened to rent movies that he knew my mom did not want me to see, but he felt otherwise, well he had no control over his ability to pay for it. I would then stay up late, recovering my pop culture education. Besides Hitchcock, I didn't really rent any horror movies, because in my head, they were stupid.
I saw Psycho, fell in love, and was terrified for a week. (and when I say a week I mean to this day) It was at this moment that I realized how I was not they type of person that should watch scary movies. I have an over-active imagination and while am not openly afraid of the dark, I sometimes get a little uncomfortable. Well done scary movies are my junk food. They taste so good and yet I know I'm going to pay later.
During high school, I was introduced to Japanese horror films, when Liz, Laurel and I watched the Ring and the Japanese original Ring/Ringu back to back. I highly recommend doing this, it is interesting seeing how the two films shape the same story and how two different cultures create terror. As Alex mentioned last night, and I had observed in the Ring marathon, the Japaneses horror films I have seen do not have many moments that make you gasp or jump in surprise or shock. However, (this is my observation) both Ringu and Ju-on: The Grudge have more "creepy" unnerving moments that remain unsettling, even years later. However, after viewing Ringu, I didn't think to seek out more Japanese horror films, or more likely, I knew I did not have access to them.
After I came to New College, I began to watch more horror movies. I fell in love with the Scary movie marathons. I reclaimed my love of The Shining (did I see it before, I don't remember) and discovered how much fun it is to make fun or bad horror films and the joy when horror films make fun of themselves. The irony is, although if a movie is bad or can make me laugh, it doesn't scare me, the really good horror movies do. Then I wonder why I can't avoid them like a sane person. Maybe I'm a horror masochist. Or maybe its fun looking into the darkness, imagining the shadows and whispers there. Which basically amounts to the same thing.
In other news, Black Phoenix Alchemy Labs, which is a bunch of creative, somewhat gothic, literary themed perfumes (the ones I've smelled, smell good) has an American Gods line. This makes me happy.

ktclain@gmail.com — Thu, 22 Feb 2007 02:39:36 GMT

Okay, let's say someone you haven't seen in six years e-mails you out of the blue,
wanting to find out how you are doing. What the heck do you tell them? My uncle (dad's brother) e-mailed me, about a month ago, an e-mail I just recently discovered. oops. Anyway I have some rage towards my dad and certain relatives of his. While this uncle is not on the list, he's currently living with those who are. I found this out in the e-mail. At first I debated whether or not to e-mail him back but decided it couldn't hurt. The only problem is what to write. I want to seem friendly, but I'm not doing anything that exciting. In the first e-mail draft I told him about school. (that I was graduating soon and working on my thesis) This took up two sentences. I also apologized for replying so late and asked how he and his kids were doing. SO what else can I say? I can't tell him about work since I am woefully unemployed. I can't bring up my family, which in my mind largely consists of step and half relatives, and would create general awkwardness. I'm not doing anything in my spare time but play video games, hang out with my roommates, and watch movies. Oh and plan fetish ball. (which I won't mention) In reality, I'm fairly happy with my life. Yes, I'd change some things but overall I'm happy and not taking found happiness for granted. But on paper, I sound like a lonely, boring geek. The last two may apply but not the first.
I guess what I want the e-mail to convey is that I am happy and wouldn't mind hearing from him. (although if he mentions my dad........) What the e-mail draft I first wrote conveys is that I'm boring and really don't want to talk to him.
I'll figure it out. I also apologize to those who have already heard me rant about this.
At least the e-mail gave me things to angst over. Basically, I found out my grandmother has had a stroke and dementia since I last saw her. (three? years ago) She's one of the relatives I still feel angry towards. There are questions I wanted to ask her, one day when I was older and stronger. I kind of always realized I would never get to do this, but now I can't even if I had the capability to do so. This also leads to the question, how long can one hold a grudge. She's probably in her eighties now, physically and mentally unwell. Yet, I still can't find myself capable of honestly forgiving her. Logically, I know she did the best she could and made mistakes, just like me and every human being on the fucking planet. However, emotionally, I'm still royally pissed. Not a every day, every moment type of anger. Actually most of my life doesn't include thoughts of my dad and his family. But when they do come up, they tend to invade my brain and take center stage. Thus, I make my friends suffer with long livejournal posts.
Oh, and in other news, my grandfather (mom's dad) is in the hospital again. It makes me worried and sad.
In lighter news, I am protesting the Dort court meeting and bitching about Calder and PCP. Oblivion is still the best game ever. New Zero by Rasputina is my new favorite love song. We have a giant teddy bear in the common room which I am going to cuddle.
Bye,
Katie

ktclain@gmail.com — Sat, 10 Feb 2007 21:32:51 GMT

I had a very...interesting Oblivion session last night and I thought I'd share some of the weird (and funny, trust me) things that happened. But since not everyone is a freak and will want to read it

First of all, I had the BEST side quest EVER! In Skingrad, I was hired by a paranoid wood elf to follow people. I got to STALK people for money. I got to sneak behind them, and hide in the bushes and avoid the guard wit the bright orange head. Actually, I kind of overdid it since it becomes obvious early on that there is no conspiracy. But the stalking!! In ends kind of sadly, When I tell the woodelf that there wasn't a conspiracy against him, he attacked me, I killed him. But on the plus side I got the key to his house. I got to RANSACK his house without fear! I'm really a moral person...really.
Again in Skingrad, I was visiting the fighter's guild and talking to this one guy. The fighter's guild is a little annoying to begin with since they try to recruit you...a lot...Anyway, this other guy walks by and i can't help but notice he's naked! Okay, he had a loincloth thing on. But in Tamriel (country of Oblivion), people wear clothes. Lots of clothes actually. This guy isn't. I followed him, wondering where he was going sans proper clothing. He walked around, sat down, had a bite to eat. Nothing out of the ordinary except he's practically naked! Even more vexing, nobody notices. Nobody cares...
Maybe he was drunk. See, that's the thing about Skingrad, its a wine making town. So when I "cough" broke into "cough" I mean visited people, everyone and there mom had wine. Even the blacksmith had a hangover when I visited her.
Which doesn't lead to the last point at all, only proves Skingrad is crazy. I was talking to a very charming dark elf, I forget what shop. From the voice and appearance I assumed the character was female but later on someone referred to him as a "he." Well, we were having a pleasant chat, when he asked me what the fine was for necrophilia. I inquired a bit and he hinted it wasn't a first time offense. When I told him how much it was. (wait...how did my character know?) He was thrilled since in Morrowind (where dark elves come from originally) the fine was a lot higher.
So Skingrad, the home of the drunks, mentally disturbed, and corpse lovers. Although it really is a lovely place.
In other news, my cousin from my bio-dad's side friended my on facebook. This caught me slightly off guard. It also made me bitter that she apparently got all the good genes. But she got minus points for liking "The Greatest Generation." Seriously, not really. But I do wonder if she'll e-mail or message me or she just friended my to get more friends on facebook.